As I pulled into the dreaded Sainsburys carpark at 4pm when all the other disgruntled and tired mothers of the day have decided it’s also a good time to zip in and buy milk, Eliza pipes up from the back seat…
For people such as myself who get lost easily. I’ll colour code the conversation. Eliza is Pink and I am Blue
“What’s a Birth canal mum”
(me thinking) why the hell is she asking this now, and would the stupid idiot in front of me get the f**k out of the way so I can park my car.
” erm it’s the er canal the baby comes from”
“where is it? Is it in my foo foo?”
Yes I am one of those mothers using the incorrect term for a body part. shoot me.
“can I see it? Not right now. But why mum? Well right now it’s a little hard as we’re at the grocery store” God sake I hope she has forgotten by the time we get home, I am not helping her see her own, let there be a diagram on google images that’s child friendly. Thankfully that was the end of that.
Stupidly the other day I said to my husband about someone I forget a famous person was “sexy”. Eliza was busy colouring. I forgot like a blog widget they are always listening.
Last night we sat down to watch X factor. Eliza says
“what’s sexy?” Um, it’s um OK you know boobies, well sometimes you see a lady and you can see some of her boobies? Well this is sexy” Then I thought, no this isn’t right sometimes you see old woman and their cleavage and this is far from sexy” So I then had to say , Mummy doesn’t know what sexy is, ask your father.
“Sexy is something you don’t have to worry about and it’s going to take me 12 years to explain, so I will tell you when you 18″ “OK”
Great that’s all done
“what’s sex?” “lets watch X-factor”
I totally don’t mind answering these questions but I really wanted time out last night. If any of you have had a 3.5 year old or you are about to, then you know, or you will do. They ask a lot of questions ALL the time. It never ends
Why is the table round? Why is the Table brown? Why does the table have four legs? Why do we have placemats? why do we have cups?
Why do I need the toilet?
why do you tell me to stop asking questions? Why are you grumpy, why are you shouting at me, why do you put your hands on your head? why do you count to 10? why why why
“why don’t you go play on your own for a little bit”
Why do you tell me to play on my own, why do you want me to go…..
Getting the picture now?
Why did I have kids?
Suburbanmummy is a 32-year-old British/Australian that loves to travel and see new things and take photographs. She is a professional portrait photographer but mostly a SAHM.